Back to the Garden

After 8 long days in the hospital I came home pretty weak, much thinner and depressed. What I was in the hospital for was not resolved and I was given a home regime to assist me. One of the suggestions was light activity that I could tolerate. Too tired to really do anything, not able to eat and I sat on my deck and just stared at the yard. I had lived in my house for 9 years and had never really done much to the yard other than just maintain it. Remember, I was the crazy overachieving, workaholic, volunteer and single mom. I did not have time for much more. Besides all of that, my youngest daughter was training as an Elite Level gymnast, 35 hours a week and had just placed 7th at Western Nationals. I could barely drive her back and forth to gym. The only thing I could do was get up and go to Lowe's, the one place close by that I felt comfortable. Just walking around at this point would be good for me.
I was very sad though. I missed being at work. Making critical decisions. Mentoring new leaders. I did not miss the hours and being on call 24 hours a day but I missed using my mind. Now I was just sick and non-productive and the only decisions I was really making was to either stay in pajamas for the day or actually get dressed-believe me, that what a tough decision!
For the next week or so I did the same thing everyday. Sat on the deck, went to Lowe's and came home. I did not buy anything. I was too drained. However, I did not realize it at the time but my mind was being creative, I was making decisions. They would eventually come to light later on and help bring me to where I am today.